I'm reading "the prisoner of heaven," and you should too

I'm remembering to tell you in time, before I have the book all read.  I am really enjoying this book and I want you to go check it out so we can talk about it.  Also if you've read any of the other books in the series I want to know, but don't tell me what happens in them.  I haven't read the others, and was irked when I found out there were previous books, but in the introduction it says the books can stand alone and be read in any order.  So it better work or I am going to personally write to Mr. Ruis Zafon and give him a piece of my mind. 

Read it!  It's fun. 

what I thought about a bunch of halloweeny books

I got way behind on books. 

1.  A Newbery Halloween, compiled by Martin H. Greenberg and Charles G. Waugh

2.  Spirits, Spooks, and Other Sinister Creatures, selected by Helen Hoke

3.  Seventy-seven Clocks, Chistopher Fowler

4.  We'll Always Have Paris, Ray Bradbury

1.  Many of these stories suffered from being extracted from larger works, and the maturity level varies widely.  Uneven and not very engaging.
2.  This one was better.  There's nothing too awful in it that would scare older elementary or junior high kids.
3.  I am conflicted about this book.  It's very creative, like the other Bryant and May book I read, but there was a referral to sexual assault as "having intercourse" that bothered me intensely.  Don't worry, it's not an Oprah-type book that will make you want to throw up while the flames from your eyes are burning the organs of all pedophiles past, present and future.  I mean, because you want to do that anyway, right?  But this one will not substantially intensify that desire. 
4.  This was not the strongest Bradbury collection I've ever read. 

what I thought about "the zombie survival guide"

I liked this book.  It inspired me to practice shooting so I can hit the thing I'm aiming at, and it made me realize that zombies are not so scary, as long as you can keep your wits about you.  There were some inconsistencies, though--at first he says that zombies can't climb, but then he says to be careful where you put your anchor (if you're avoiding the zombies on a boat), because a zombie could climb the chain right into your boat.  What?  How can a zombie climb a chain, but not a ladder?  It's like he thinks I'm not paying close attention to his advice or something.  By the way, a trench spike is a good zombie weapon.  This is one way in which zombie defense is different from human defense.

He says that at first, when the zombie apocalypse is still in its beginning stages, the most danger will come from the marauding bands of thugs, not the zombies.  Freaking thugs, am I right?  So pretty much any End-Times scenario includes blood cults or similar, and it sucks to be a woman or a child NO MATTER WHAT.  So pumped about that. 

Go ahead and read this book.  It might depress you, but then again, it might make you feel a little better prepared for when everything goes pear-shaped, which it will. 

what I thought about "advent"

I'm kind of mad at this book, but not as mad as I could be.  I picked it up at the library, off the staff recommendations shelf, and at first when I saw that it was about a boy with strange powers whose parents didn't understand him, I was like, "Flippin heck.  Here we go through another inferior Harry Potter retread (see: The Magicians)."  But it got very different very fast, and it was so creative and so well written that I was just in love with it.  The characters were new and interesting, and the sense of place is very strong.  But then toward the end there is some heavy use of deus ex machina, and he lost me.  A whale for some reason?  Masks and open doors?  Eskimos out of nowhere?  It's like Treadwell was writing two different stories and forgot to connect them until the end, and then he was all slapdash about it, when his craftsmanship was so impressive for the rest of the book.  I felt gypped. 

I was a lot more angry until I saw that it's the first book of a trilogy.  So my criticism is conditional.  Maybe it will all make sense in a minute.  The conclusion is still a little jarring, but I will see what happens.  I'm very eager to read the next two books.  If you like fantasy or mythology you should read this book.  There is some use of the F word, if you'd rather not read that. 

zombie survival guide

I think you guys should go check out "The Zombie Survival Guide" and let's talk about it.  The counsel is surprisingly applicable to real life, except zombies are way easier to defeat than similarly bloody-minded humans. 

what I thought about "the water room"

It's such a delight to find new, well-written series.  I have a bunch of No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agencies and Peculiar Crimes Units that will keep me busy for a long time.

The detectives in "The Water Room" are old Englishmen, one of whom has false teeth and buys kidneys from street butchers.  It talks about London's underground rivers, and I found the whole thing thoroughly fascinating.  I am going to read the crap out of this series. 

what I thought about "let's pretend this never happened"

I started reading Let's Pretend This Never Happened a few weeks ago, because it was on the wall of librarian picks.  Boy, what a dud.  I had to stop reading it, which I almost never do.  But I've reached the point in my life where I don't have to finish books that are not worth my time.  It's uneven and self-indulgent, and it's simply not funny enough.  There are some good bits, like the time her dad woke them up to show them the squirrel puppet he had just made, and referring to intestines as "the poop rope," but it's all so self-aware, like she's so pleased with how unique she is, and her family is SO SHOCKING AND DIFFERENT.  It's a shockbrag.  Well, as the moral of the classic fable "Duckbilled Platypus vs. Beefsnakstick" taught us, just because you have a lot of stuff, don't think you're so special. 

It reminded me a lot of the Heather Armstrong book I read, in that the voice that charms in short-form writing becomes unbearably grating in long-form writing.  Is this true of all bloggers-cum-memoirists/novelists?  It makes me fearful for my own hoped-for authorial career.